People fall out of love for different reasons; they fall out of love out of inconsistency, out of boredom, tired of their present state, tired of the things that keep happening in their relationship. Let’s say the other partner was use to a certain particular thing happening at the start of the relationship, but along the love journey one of them fails to keep doing that which got the other partner interested in the relationship; boredom sets in. These are random reasons people fall out of love.
See these 8 solid reasons people fall out of love;
1) Lack of communication: Most times people fall out of love when there is no effective ground for communication. When a partner finds it uncomfortable to easily talk to each other about anything and everything, then you know that there is a rift in the relationship. There are 4 ways this rift affects communication: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stone walling.
- Criticism: When a partner passes judgment on the other as a result of something he/she feels uncomfortable with.
- Contempt: Making the other partner feel inferior or worthless. They start calling each other names.
- Defensiveness: Building walls to protect one’s self worth.
- Stone walling: The silent treatment.
When you begin a new relationship, there is abundance of sharing. You find it interesting to want to talk about anything and everything with your partner. Most times the energy you put into a new relationship is usually the reason the other partner chooses to sail along. They fall in love with the excitement of being in love. But, when a partner fails to be consistent in that which keeps the other partner interested, boredom sets in.
2) Feeling invisible: As time goes by, without good communication ground, they begin to take each other for granted. They start noticing more differences between themselves. They feel more incompatible between themselves and start acting like strangers. The love starts getting cold. They stop doing all those things which they normally do when in love; the touching and romancing seizes. They start blaming and pointing fingers at themselves.
3) Magnifying insecurities: During this time, as they dig out more differences between themselves, it leaves them feeling too exposed. They start using their past dirty secrets against each other. Instead of trying to mend the broken pieces that remains of their relationship, they tear it deeper by magnifying their insecurities.
4) Attraction Disappears: Attraction increases when love is fired up through compassion and appreciation. But in this case, compassion and appreciation for the other partner is neglected as a result of their magnified differences. The fun seizes. They neglect that which got them in love; the special treats. Attraction disappears.
5) Holding on to resentment: Nothing holds couples back more than holding on to past resentment and grudges. At this time it is difficult to forget about the past and all the hurtful words that was said against each other. The adage “forgive and forget” seems unreasonable at the time. It is difficult to move on when you keep reminding yourself what the other partner did or didn’t do. It is difficult for a couple to successful grow past their hurtful experience while reliving pain. Let go and be free.
6) Dishonesty: When there is no effective ground for communication, relationship sinks like stepping into a quicksand. At this point being honest to each other seems gut-wrenching. They are at a point where they have to push through the feeling of resentment and look beyond their flaws. They can only work together co operatively by being honest with themselves and understand that everything good is worth fighting for.
7) No compromise: Sometimes apologizing to your partner after a hurtful experience doesn’t always mean that you are wrong and your partner is right. It means that you value your relationship more than you value you ego. There is a point in every relationship where ego begins to take control. At this point you stop caring about your partners feelings and you would rather have things done your way, the way you like it and when you like it. You can’t truly move forward with your partner without compromising. Trying to love your partner without willing to compromise shows lack of respect. You cannot truly love another without the give and take. In this case, if you want peace to reign, you have to be willing to compromise.
8) Reality sets in: Love is magical. That’s why we need that special someone to help make our dream a reality. But, when that special someone turns your reality into a nightmare you start to question if the love was real. At this point the fairy tale is over and reality has set in. You can’t completely get to know your partner without some unpleasantness. It’s not all going to be rosy but it’s going to be worth it.